I Dare You To Lie
by Mrs Sevvie Snape
Summary: This is about Emily's thoughts (etc) on the affair between Arvin Sloane & Laura BristowIrina Derevko.
1. Default Chapter

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**FanFic Title:** I Dare You To Lie  
**FanFic Description:** This is about Emily's thoughts (etc) on the affair between Arvin Sloane Laura Bristow/Irina Derevko.  
**Author's Notes:** First off I would like to apologize to the readers/JJ if I protray the characters differently then you would like/think they should be protrayed. Any and all feedback-positive or negative-is definately welcome.  
**Disclaimer:** Alright these characters- Alias-belong to the god of TV shows, JJ Abrams. However, there are a few characters that he made up but I'm giving them history and creating/forming their personality.  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Spoilers:** Absolutely none.

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The bed shifts as he crawls into bed next to me. I can smell her on him, but I don't move. I don't let him know that I'm awake, or even aware that he wasn't at work like he had told me. 

I have never lied to myself about whether or not my husband was a good man. I know who he is, whether I let on or not. I love him, and that's all that matters. If I die tomorrow, I know that I will have loved him as much as I can and have been the best wife to my abilities.

It's not the fact that he was sleeping with some other woman that bothers me, it's who he was doing it with. Arvin Sloane is not someone who can keep it in his pants, but that doesn't change my feelings for him. At first when I found out that he was having sex with other people, I was hurt. I felt so betrayed and alone, but I learned to accept and embrace that fact. If he could have his own lovers, than why couldn't I? Of course, I never went out in search of them. No, actually they found me, and in quite unexpected people as well.

The thing that I find hard-laying in bed next to him, her scent permeating my nostrils and assaulting my brain-was that it was her. This woman that I had grown to know and love, and who I trusted more than anyone in the world.

She betrayed me, and it stung.

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I feel arms snake around my waist, and I smile. Leaning against the body behind me, I close my eyes. "You're home early." Lips brush against my neck, and that's when I realized-for the first time-who it was who was behind me. I jerk away, body trembling in pent up anger as well as unexpressed want. 

"Emily? What's wrong?" Laura stands there in front of me, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Don't touch me." The coldness in my own voice surprises and even shocks me.

"What happened? Are you alright!" Her hand takes a hold of my arm, stroking it softly.

Before I know it, my other hand reaches out and strikes her cheek, leaving a red mark on her face. "I told you not to touch me!" Yanking my arm from her grip, I turn and storm out of the kitchen, followed closely by her.

"Emily, what happened! God, you can't just do this. Talk to me, please. I love you!"

I stop and twirl around to face her, the pain and betrayal showing clearly in my eyes. "Don't tell me you love me, Laura. You don't give a shit about me. When you love someone, you don't go and fuck their husband."

Something flashes across her eyes, but I'm too hurt to pay any attention to it. Her arm drops to her side, uncertain as to what she should do next. After a moments silence, she finally speaks up. "You're right, I never should have done it, but there are things.."

"Don't use that damn Rambaldi as your escape goat again, Laura. You've used him too many times." I turn away from her, the anger slowly fading and leaving just the ache of her actions, but I can't let her know. I need to remain strong, or else I know where this will end.

Sensing the lowering of my defenses, Laura turns me around and kisses me tenderly on the lips. I try to pull back, but I soon give in to the incredible feeling within. My arms wrap around her neck and I press up against her, our bodies rubbing together and molding into one.

I can feel her hand slip down the front of my pants, sliding down in my underwear and finding itself against my bare skin, a finger teasing the edge of my clit, causing me to moan softly in both lust and love. An inch of her goes inside me, now touching every spot of my inner self, and in turn causing it to moisten, allowing more and more of her finger to delve deep into me.

My hips move against her, in the dance that we have perfect so well. Being the wife of a spy, does get lonely, and we have found our comfort in one another. Rather than take on a male lover, I have taken her. Laura is the only woman that I desire, and the only woman who can completely disarm me.

Suddenly, my mind flashes to images-concucted of their own accord-of my husband fucking my lover. As a result, I stiffen and yank her hand out of my pants. "Get out of my house."

"Emily."

"GET OUT!"

I don't want to hear her excuse or to have her tell me that it was a mistake for her to sleep with Arvin. The knife has been slammed into my heart, and the ache that is left is deeper than any I have ever known in my life. Even more than what I felt after I learned of my husband's unfaithfulness with the other countless women.

He had his choice of whores and prostitutes, why must he take Laura! Why her! Why one of the only things in my life that I find joy in these days! Must I die of a broken heart every night as I lay in bed, awaiting the man I am married to, yet who-at times-is a complete stranger to me?

My emotions have become a mess of pain and joy, loneliness and love. I don't want to send her away, but just the physical contact between us is enough to tear down the wall around me that I have constructed up so perfectly. Just the scent of her perfume and the look of lust in her eyes shocks and dismantles me.

Before I can do something stupid that I will seriously regret later on, I turn and hurry up to the bedroom that I share with Arvin. I lock the door behind me, and fall on the bed, in tears.

Laura Bristow. I need to make love to her, yet I can't touch her. I won't let myself. I refuse to kiss her, to feel her soft skin under me, but above all, I refuse to give her the one thing that I know she wants. An orgasm. I want to, but I can't. She betrayed my trust and slept with my husband. That is something that I don't know if I can or will forgive. Now, and maybe forever.

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Side Note:** As of right now, I'm not sure if this will be a one parter, or if I will keep going with it. If the feedback is positive, I may post more. 


	2. The Uninvited Invitation

**Chapter 2:** The Uninvited Invitation

I don't recall hearing her leave, but I know she left. The sobs rack my body as I lay on my bed, trembling. Words cannot describe the utter loneliness I feel in the face of her betrayal. How will I ever pretend that things are as they always were?  
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"Emily!"

Arvin's voice breaks into my thoughts as I mix the salad in the bowl, setting it on the table before walking out to meet him in the living room. Standing behind him is her. I can feel her eyes boring into my soul, but I don't return the gaze. If I had a choice, I wouldn't even acknowledge her presence in the world, let alone the room.

"I hope you don't mind," he goes on, "but I invited Laura over for dinner."

"No, of course not. There's plenty of food." Ok, so I lied, but what's new!

"It smells delicious, Emily." She looks at me as though we are the only two in the room.

I can feel the regret and love in her posture and her gaze, but she's hurt me. She has hurt me too deeply, that no look or kiss or tender word can erase it. I never approached Jack asking to have sex with him. Never. Not once.

My husband's voice breaks into my silent world, bringing me back to the here and now. "Emily," he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and gazing lovingly into my eyes. "Jack and I have work to do, that's why I asked her to come over. I'm not sure how long we'll be."

"Where's Sydney?" I hear my voice without it registering that I have spoken.

"She's at a friend's house for the night."

The thought of being left alone with this woman is almost more than I can bare. I don't know how long I can put this brave face on for, but I have no choice. If I tell Arvin that I don't want her here, he'll ask me why. That will only lead to me revealing that I know about his illicit affairs as well as the fact that I'm not as faithful as he likes to think. That is a road I am unwilling to go down! "I'll miss you." I kiss him softly and tenderly, but the whole time I can feel her gaze upon me. 

She never looks away from me, as I talk to my husband, and not even after I have kissed him again and he has left the house.

"Emily," her voice is soft spoken, and I can sense the slight tinge of pain in it.

"You are here because my husband invited you. Nothing more. What happened between us, was a mistake. I stopped listening to my head, and look where it got me. You slept with Arvin. I'll just have to live with that." Although I try to make my voice sound sure and firm, it quivers ever so slightly.

Laura walks towards me and sits down on the couch before me. After a minute of gazing in each other's eyes, her hand slowly slides up my thigh and she brings me down so I am straddling her lap. Her lips connect with my neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses along my collar bone.

"Don't," I whimper to her. "Please...Laura..." I can feel the tears starting to gather in my eyes. _Why can't she be forceful! Why can't she kiss me passionately and hungrily! Atleast that way I wouldn't be slowly crumbling from her touch. _I try to push away from her, but my arms and legs have turned to jelly, causing me to fall down against her. "Stop..." _Ok, now I'm officially begging!_

Her hands slip under my shirt and her fingers easily find their way to my nipple, teasing it between them and causing a soft moan to escape from my mouth.

_Even my own god damn body is betraying me now!_

I lean my head back and let her mouth trail towards my chin as silent tears start to fall down my cheeks. There is no explanation needed, just the salty taste of them as they slide down my face. _I can't do this, god I can't! I can't want her. I can't kiss her. I can't touch her. I just..I can't!_ I feel her mouth kissing past my stomach as she slips my pants and underwear down to my knees. Pressing the back of my hand against my mouth, I hold back a soft sob, crying even harder. _Don't let her do this. Stop her before you can't anymore. Don't let her kiss you there, or even touch you. Stay strong and..._"oh god!" I cry out in a muted whisper.

My back arches upwards at the sudden contact of her mouth to my clit. I need more of her, but at the same time, I need her to stop touching me. My body goes into hyper drive, arguing with itself as well as being pleasured by this woman who has touched my life in more ways than just this.

Finally, my mind and body get in contact and I jump up, moving away from her. My hands numbly tug my pants and underwear up as I madly scramble for my shirt and my bra-which I don't remember her taking off but which she apparently did-as the tears fill my eyes and blur my vision.

"Don't do this. Please!" Her voice is begging me, but the pain in my heart is too much.

Feeling her lips on me is only making my brain work less, and I can't do this. Not here, not now. _I love Arvin. This-Laura and I-is..was a mistake! I can't do this. I don't love her. She's not the person I want. I just want her because it's lust. It's only lust!_ I keep telling myself this, but my brain knows that I don't believe it. Not for one instant, but that doesn't stop me from saying it. Perhaps, if I say it enough, it will make it true. I will no longer love her. I won't need her with me. I'll be able to live my life without her. Perhaps..One can always dream, I suppose.

The sting of hurt is evident in her eyes and I struggle not to let this scene move any further ahead. _I can't do this. I can't fuck Laura here._ I need an excuse-any excuse but the truth-as to why. "I hate you." Ok, so the words sounded much better in my head, but the tears are fogging my brain and making it hard to think straight.

Without another word, I hear Arvin's car drive up to the house. _Thank god..but..Already!_ A quick glance at the clock tells me that more time past than I thought. The past 3 hours are blurred in my memory, half of it I don't even recall.

Laura hears it as well, and I can see her physically sinking at the sound. Why? I'm not sure. I won't lie to myself and say that it is because she has to leave 'us' in the wretch that we are now, for another night. I will-if required-lie to myself to tell me the opposite. Anything to help me get over the block in the road that I call my future.

_Do I honestly mean that? Would I do anything!  
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End file.
